Archive for March, 2009

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Today is a very special day in the history of Sports Fan Paradise. Why? Well because the founder/editor/main contributor turns 25 years old. Yes, I know, quite the milestone. It seems like just yesterday I was a struggling 22-year-old blogger with only a handful of readers. Today I would say I have two or even three handfuls, and for those I am grateful.

So with you few handfuls in mind I will postpone my celebrating and write a little something to commemorate the day. My reverse birthday gift to you is a list of the 25 athletes who have moved, inspired and influenced me over my first quarter-century. Now excuse me while I go practice for my karaoke performance(s).

#1 Bill Buckner
I was just 2 and a half years old when my father woke me up close to midnight on October 25th of 1986. Even though I was barely old enough to comprehend anything, he still wanted me to witness the Red Sox end their 68-year World Series drought. After they blew the game he feared that he had scarred me for life. Of course I didn’t remember seeing the play, but my life as a sports fan would have been very different if Buckner had kept his glove down.

#2 Wayne Gretzky
#3 Michael Jordan
#4 Bo Jackson
This column from July of 2008 will tell you everything you need to know.

#5 Ken Griffey Jr.
Any good baseball card collector knows the first prized card that they possessed. For me it was a 1989 Upper Deck Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card. I haven’t bought a baseball card since the ’90s but I still remember what this one looks like. Too bad its value has gone down so much.

#6 Mike Greenwell
I only have 2 memories of 1st grade: Flirting with Jen Lincoln at recess and getting the Gator’s autograph. Greenwell moved into a new house right next to my elementary school right around the time I began to love the Red Sox, so becoming my favorite player was easy. I began bringing a Greenwell baseball card into school everyday, just waiting for the walk home when I would actually have the balls to go up and ring his doorbell. Finally one spring day I grew a pair and my best friend and I went for it. He answered the door in boxers, a beater and a robe with a “Hey dudes!” and graciously signed autographs. Since that day I have come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t the best left fielder in Sox history, but I have never said a bad word about him.

#7 The Ultimate Warrior
Nobody in the history of the WWF brought the same type of energy as the Ultimate Warrior. Like most kids I went through a Hulk Hogan phase, a Shawn Michaels phase, even an NWO phase. But in 1991 the Warrior was running wild and I was obsessed with wrestling. Looking back I don’t think my parents should have let me watch.

#8 Larry Bird
It was just 2 weeks before my 9th birthday when my Dad took me to my first Celtics game. It would be the only time I would ever see Larry Legend in person, and he must of known that, because he scored 49 points and hit an insane 3-pointer to send the game into overtime (fast fwd to the 7:25 mark). They won, of course, but I missed the last play because everyone was jumping and cheering and I was like 4 feet tall. Still, it was one of the best sports moments of my life.

#9 John Valentin
Back in the Summer of ‘92 I was a little league shortstop idolizing a left fielder, which would have been fine except that the uniform numbers didn’t go all the way up to Mike Greenwell’s #39. That all changed at Fenway one night, when a 25-year-old kid freshly called up from Pawtucket knocked his first major league hit into left field. From then on Johnny V was the “middle infielder with pop in his bat” that I emulated, which is probably the reason my baseball career fell short as well. I would end up interviewing him years later when he was the hitting coach for the Binghamton Mets and I was an intern at Newschannel 36 in Elmira, and he was nothing but a class act. I told him I was there when he made his debut and said that maybe I’ll also be there when he makes his Red Sox coaching debut. Somebody call up Francona.

#10 Mo Vaughn
Say what you will about the Hit Dog, when he was good he was good. Steroids? Probably. Cocaine? Ecstasy? Definitely. But nobody ruled the Pesky Pole, or the Foxy Lady, quite like Big Mo.

#11 Danya Abrams
So what if this Boston College stud power forward never made it big professionally? He was my coach at Jim O’Brien’s Summer Basketball Camp when I was in 4th grade and he was the man. Looking back it was probably not a great idea to put a 19-year-old with NBA dreams in charge of a dozen 10-year-olds, but we certainly had fun, except when he made me do wall-sits for an hour for beating him in knock-out. That sucked.

#12 Ryne Sandberg
I’ll be honest, I can’t for the life of me remember watching the real Ryne Sandberg play an actual game. He made this list for one reason and one reason only: RBI Baseball 3. RBIB3 is, in my opinion, the greatest baseball video game of all time. It belongs on the Mount Rushmore of sports video games right alongside Tecmo Super Bowl, NBA Jam and NHL ‘94. RBIB3 is especially near and dear to my heart because of the hundreds of hours that my brother and I logged playing that game from the time it came out in 1990 and consistently for an entire decade. I’m not kidding. We spent very large chunks of the summer writing out brackets and having RBI baseball tournaments against each other, drafting 8 teams each and playing until one team was victorious. During the first 5 or so years that team was usually the Oakland A’s, with their ‘roided-up roster and the unhittable Dennis Eckersley coming out of the ‘pen, and it was always controlled by my brother. For some reason that was the unwritten rule, Steve got the A’s and I got the Reds (which we had determined Cincy the 2nd best team in the game). The A’s beat up on the Reds worse than Ike beat up on Tina, it was more of a rite of passage than anything else. Thankfully that all ended in the mid-’90s, mostly due to #23. We had included the Chicago Cubs in our field of 16 for the first time, and I was stuck with them in a 1-vs.-16 game against my brother and the A’s. Sandberg ended up hitting 2 monster bombs over the Tengen scoreboard and Greg Maddux pitched a gem to get me that Game 1 victory. The 16-seed Cubbies rolled to the RBI Bowl XXIV title and quickly became my go-to team, with Sandberg the perienial MVP. I almost ventured to Cooperstown for his Hall of Fame induction ceremony, but felt that that may be taking the RBIB3 obsession a little far. A spot on this list is the least I could do.

#13 Drew McQueen Bledsoe
It took me far too long to embrace Tom Brady, and I admit that, but if the worst thing you can say about me is that I’m too loyal then I’ll take it. Bledsoe was the face of the franchise for just under a decade and carried that team to a Super Bowl in ‘97.

#14 Paul Pierce
Before I loved Pierce in Celtics green I loved him in Kansas Blue. I adopted the Jayhawks after following their dirty ‘97 squad with Pierce and other future Celts Scot Pollard and Raef Lafrentz, and have liked them ever since. After having the pleasure of watching him play professionally for 10+ years I have no problem putting him on the Mount Rushmore of Celtics Greats (along with Bird, Russell and Red…Couz and Hav just can’t handle the Truth).

#15 Mark McGwire
What? I’m serious. The ‘98 home run chase was the most exciting national sports phenomenon of my lifetime. I watched McGwire belt #62 the night before my first day of high school. How many moments in sports are so important that you remember where you were when they happened? Not many. We were naive to steroid use and the livin’ was easy, it was a great time to be a fan and Big Mac owned the Universe.

#16 Pedro Martinez
From the 1999 All Star Game to the relief appearance against the Indians in the playoffs, there was no better pitcher EVER than Pedro Martinez. To be able to watch him at the top of his game was a freaking privilege.

#17 Ray Bourque
I’m not a huge hockey guy, but I sat across from Ray Bourque on a flight from Orlando to Boston the summer after he won the Cup with Colorado and he was a great guy, signing my hat and everything. 10 years after I rang Greenwell’s doorbell, being friendly and giving an autograph is all a guy needed to do to make this list.

#18 Adam Vinatieri
Those 2 kicks against the Raiders set the tone for the dynasty. If he shanks one of them I am convinced the snowball never starts and the Pats never win a Super Bowl, let alone 3. Add the kick against the Rams and you have an instant legend. And I met him in Disney World and he had a hot wife and I talked to her about living in Needham and he didn’t seem to mind, so that was cool too.

#19 Randy Moss
As a college freshman I played Madden 2003 for at least 2 hours a day. The Vikings were my team and I pwned everyone on my floor. Years before he would ever don a Pats jersey I was a huge fan of #84. That Culpepper-to-Moss deep post was unfuckingstoppable.

#20 Tom Brady
Forget the 3 Super Bowls, he proves that with a little hard work anything is possible. How else do you explain the fact that this guy landed this girl. Hard work folks. Lots of it.

#21 Dave Roberts
The Red Sox finally won the World Series during my 21st year (I know Dad, I had it easy). When I think of that team I don’t think of the traitor (Damon), the self-righteous buffoon (Schilling), or the ex-Sox slugger that won’t be spoken of (—–). No, I think about the guy who stepped up when we were down to our final out and stole the base that would be a microcosm of the entire series. The Dave Roberts era was far too short, but it was the best of all the eras.

#22 Big Papi
I wanted to make sure I included David Ortiz in this list. While his skills could possibly (but I hope not) be diminishing, we need to recognize the fact that his run of dramatic walk-off bombs was 2 of the best years ever as a Sox fan.

#23 Derrick from the RW/RR Challenges
To call Derrick scrappy is an understatement. This guy is the definition of a competitor and is an inspiration to undersized athletes everywhere. This guy has won more Duels, Gauntlets and Infernos than I can ever count, and he was the underdog in most of them. From all of us guys under 5′10”: Thank you, Derrick, for giving us someone to look up to that isn’t Bob Costas or Harrison Ford.

#24 Brian Westbrook
Public Service Announcement: Don’t let fantasy football take over your life or you will end up putting the Running Back from a team you hate on a list of the most influential athletes in your life.

#25 Kevin Garnett
The Celts raised #17 during my 25th year, and for this we can thank Kevin Garnett. This commercial is still one of my favorites because it totally captures the way we all felt when the Big Ticket came to town.

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LOS ANGELES — A restraining order has been issued against a man authorities say tried to break onto the Los Angeles set of “Dancing With the Stars” to meet Shawn Johnson.

Robert O’Ryan arrested by the LAPD yesterday. Court documents show O’Ryan was stopped by security at CBS Studios, where “Dancing With the Stars” is produced, after he jumped on a fence on Monday afternoon.

Police later searched his car and found two guns and duct tape.

The records state that he told security guards and police that he packed up all his belongings and traveled to California from Florida in the hopes of being with Johnson.

The 17-year-old Johnson is a gold medalist in gymnastics and one of the celebrity contestants on ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars.”

Yup. That seems about right. Maybe if ABC stopped parading around underage girls in skimpy clothing they would get less stalkers coming to the studio. Just a thought.

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I haven’t worked in the four days and shaved in the last eight. I’ve shoveled down more buffalo wings and Bud Lights than I want to declare. I have left ass impressions in bar stools across DC. The tangible results? One commemorative pint glass, a couple extra pounds, a bracket at the bottom of every pool I’m entered in, and face full of nasty stubble. Picture me as the unemployed Ron Burgandy, without the stale milk.

Besides general malaise, my mini-vacation can be characterized by pretty consistent intoxication and almost as consistent disappointment in the games (mostly the results). I’ve lost a lot of close games, a few blowouts, and many in between; ESPN has even told me that my bracket in the 13th percentile, which is below George W. Bush’s approval rating and dipping into weatherman success territory. Perhaps the only thing I’m still qualified for in regards to the tournament is reactions, since few people have logged the hours I have with CBS. Here are some thoughts:

-The number one seeds all look pretty good. They’ve had some scares but their recoveries and finishing of games (Louisville over Siena, UNC over LSU, Pitt over OKState) are what make them the best four teams.

-If you have a five seed, let’s go ahead and just book your ticket as a two day round trip.

-The team that needs this five day break the most has to be Kansas. Two hideously ugly wins for them, and a few practices is exactly what Bill Self needs. If they didn’t get Dayton today, I don’t think they’d still be around. Dayton was so bad that Obama would have described their performance as Special Olympic inspired.

-More on the Obama front, his bracket is mediocre, but what would be more impressive: Obama nailing every single game of the tournament or solving the Middle East Peace Crisis and the economy problems?

-Biggest letdown had to be Western Kentucky not getting back on defense after tying Gonzaga in the final seconds. How does that happen? Where was that guy from the Buffalo Wild Wings commercial to shoot off the flashbulb and send the game to overtime?

-Speaking of which, BWW had more commercials since Thursday than Foxwoods has during an entire Red Sox season. Even Tyler Perry’s House of Payne thought it was overkill. Honorable mentions to Cingular’s dad with the cameraphone, Burger King breakfast shots, Captain Morgan’s douchey “four guys” (please tell me which bar in American doesn’t charge a group of four dudes for drinks).

-Some superlatives: Best ending- Siena/OSU’s 2OT shootout; Most dominating team- UCONN; Best tourney mantra- Jay Bilas’ “A team’s performance doesn’t validate or invalidate its inclusion”; Best absence- Billy Packer; Best individual performance- ND State’s Ben Woodside’s almost one man takedown of Kansas; Best halftime distraction- PhotoHunt; Worst Site- tie between the empty American Airlines Arena in Miami and awkward Metrodome setup in Minneapolis.

-How bout the job CBS did at the end of the Sunday 5PM games? Maybe the only performance worse than West Virginia this week. They tossed us around between the Siena/L’ville, Mizzou/Marquette, and USC/MSU games like we were the LOSTies during the spinning donkey wheel and white flash debacle… except that we were constantly stuck in the most inopportune moments.

-The only way to describe Marquette’s Lazar Hayward stepping on the line during an inbounds with 5.5 seconds left: A-Rodian. (Also special shout out to Marquette’s coach Buzz Williams for looking like a bald version of Shaun of the Dead actor Nick Frost)

-A storyline you should but won’t hear about is that of the four mid-major at large bids, two of them lost in round one and another was embarrassed in the second round, all by major conference teams (BYU to A&M, Butler to LSU, and Dayton to KU, respectively). I love what Bilas said about performance’s unparalleled relationship to validation but there were lots of people upset about the lack of mid-majors in the tourney and we’ll see if this is delved into this week.

-Looking ahead, we have some awesome match-ups for the Sweet Sixteen, how do you pick a favorite? Cuse/Oklahoma? Mizzou/Memphis? Duke/Nova? Kansas/MSU?

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The popular sentiment regarding the Morning Dump was similar to Drunk Katie’s reaction to a Beirut double-up: BRING IT BACK BITCHES!!!

So while I’m trying to figure out how to get the Boss Button to work on the blog, enjoy some links. Bardo isn’t online so we’re a little light this week. Feel free to email some good ones to sportsfanparadise@gmail.com

As usual, Sporcle delivered this week with quizzes including Celebrity Mugshots, “Number” Band Names, and even the Muppet Show theme song. But this quiz takes the cake. I was perfect on the SEC, ACC, Big 10, Pac 10, and Big 12, but the Big East tripped me up a bit. Good luck.

Not only does Ithaca crush Alfred in football, but we rock out to The Darkness a hell of a lot better than they do too.

The Dan Band could possibly be my favorite non-Bruce musical act. Here is their latest video.

Here is an interesting article about websites spawned by popular TV. Someday I hope to have a sitcom spawn from this blog. We shall see.

Speaking of HIMYM, is it possible that I have never posted the link for Barney’s Blog? If so I apologize deeply.

Whit (Popcandy) is down at SXSW so she won’t be posting L O S T reactions until Monday, but I’ll throw a few thoughts around about Wednesday’s episode:

- You all know I’m a big Sawyer fan, and as cool as he was 2 weeks ago, I’ll admit that he was kind of a dick. BUT, in his defense, he has been running shit for 3 years and then Jack came back and thought he was going to be Captain Island again. Jack needs to chill the fuck out, read a God damn book, and maybe go bone Kate or something. Seriously, you’re in the 1970s, you have no clue what the hell is going on. Not everything is a freaking mission.

- I know I’m in the minority but I like Sawyer and Juliet together. They have a good thing going. While Kate is undoubtedly hotter she is also a nutjob, and Juliet seems to have a better head on her shoulders. It should also be said that Juliet has larger breasts, ya know, for like tiebreaker purposes. I have no idea where they’re going with Juliet’s character, but Sawyer is clearly still in love with Kate.

- Why didn’t Sun flash back with everyone else? I presume that Ben didn’t because he wasn’t orginally on the plane, and/or because he wouldn’t have been able to coexist with the 1977 Ben. Was Sun born on the island? Was she that Asian baby in the first scene of Season 5?

- I’m contimplating getting a Frank Lapidas poster for my cubicle. Is there a more likable character on the show?

-How did Ben get his ass kicked after Sun knocked him out and before Locke sees him with the rest of the wounded?

-Now that we know that the island brought Locke back to life it is clear that Christian is as alive as any of them. Is he living with Claire? Is he talking with Jacob? Is he Jacob? Is he more special than Locke? Andy has been saying all along that he is the key to the show, and I’m starting to agree.

HAVE YOUR OWN THOUGHTS? HIT UP THE MESSAGE BOARD, I WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK.

Picture of the week:
Oh yeah, they’re Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburgers. I submitted this to This Is Why You’re Fat a week ago but they haven’t posted it yet.

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So far 33 have people signed up for our pool. We didn’t get as many entries as the Deadspin group, or the faculty at Lawson High for that matter, but I’m satisfied. LET THE BLOGGING CONTINUE!

In past years I have filled out numerous brackets and hoped for the best, but I hated rooting for one team in one bracket and their opponent in the other. Like the dude with too many fantasy football teams, I was That Guy. This year I decided to make one set of amazing picks, Mike’s Bracktastic Repeat, and ride them on the blog and in my office pool. I picked the correct Final Four and winner last March and I plan to do the same this year, but that isn’t to say this was an easy bracket to fill out, and I’d be lying if I said that the Midwest Region hasn’t been haunting my dreams.

But all that is behind me, as we’re minutes from tip-off and everything is locked in. So now it’s time to have some fun. If you go to the SFP group on ESPN’s Tournament Challenge you’ll see that I have actually entered 3 brackets: mine, President Obama’s, and finally a bracket where the school with the better looking girls advanced. If you thought the real brackets (where you pick which basketball team is superior) brought on a lot of debate you should have seen the war room when we decided on this one. Between Facebook, Playboy’s college issue, my experience and the intern’s due dilligence, we filled out all 63 games and have a solid argument for each team that advanced. I will skip ahead to the Elite 8, but feel free to argue in the comment section.

MIDWEST:
Arizona over USC
This one was difficult because both schools absolutly BRING IT in the tail department, but in the end it came down to why you would go to either school. We thought of 5 solid reasons to attend USC, but only 2 for ‘Zona, the top one being the fine fine talent.

WEST:
Cal over UT-Chattanooga
The Chattahoochies put up a solid fight, but CAL has Allison Stokke. Game over.

EAST:
Texas over Florida State
I’m as big a Jenn Sterger fan as anyone, but lets face it, her time has come and gone. Texas wins because of their depth, and because the girls seem to actually care about sports, not just getting photographed.

SOUTH:
LSU over Arizona State
ASU is definitely the party school to end all party schools, but thanks to the blog formerly known as SECPoon.com I have become quite partial to Tigers.

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Think you know college basketball? Time to step up and show us what you got.

Go to ESPN’s Tournament Challenge, fill out a bracket and join the group “Sports Fan Paradise.”

If you are unable to successfully sign up and find our group then we will assume you wouldn’t have been smart enough to do well anyway.

There will be no money on this, since nobody ever pays up anyway. Just bragging rights, and lots of them. If blog immortality isn’t enough to motivate you then I don’t know what is.

——– Update 3/17 ———
Deadspin’s ESPN Tournament Challenge group has 1711 members. We only have 11. If you’re reading this please follow the above directions and sign up to support the blog that you obviously read. Even if you’re a girl or you’re old you can still participate in fun things, your life isn’t over.

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So I don’t like Joe Lunardi, argued this week that his Bracketology is a sham… yadda yadda yadda. Now I am going to try to prove that anyone can do it, put my money where my mouth is. This could be a huge SOGB or could be a triumphant success . Obviously I am not using that Turdbuggler’s chart nor any similar ones offered on cnnsi.com or sportsline.com. This is just me using the RPI index, team schedules, and a list of conference winners. I have also avoided ESPN all day, those talk-happy CBS projection shows, and internet predictors. I will post below this at around 5:30 when I get the last teams’ games to finish, giving you 65 teams and their seeding. Hopefully this doesn’t blow up in my face. 

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