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On Tuesday the Red Sox major offseason news was finalized. We welcomed John Lackey and Mike Cameron to the Fens with jerseys fresh from embroiderers and smiles fresh from the last press conference (see Scutaro, Marco).

As the days pass, the picture of 2010 Red Sox team grows clearer. This wont be the power hitting, high caliber team of 2004 and 2007. In fact, the preliminary lineup looks something like this: Ellsbury, Pedroia, Youk, V-Mart, JD, Papi, Cameron, Kotchman, Scutaro. If that gave you the chills, you now know what it feels to type it out as well.

Before I despair on how we’ve become a National League team rich in pitching and defense and impotent at the plate, let me throw some of the good news at you about our newest players, did you know style.

Did you know? Mike Cameron is the only center fielder in baseball to have hit 25 or more doubles and 20 or more home runs in each of the last four seasons

Did you know? Mike Cameron is a three-time Gold Glover… and not the Jeter kind of gold glove; Cameron is a web-gem maestro.

Did you know? In 11 years, Mike Cameron’s teams average 90 wins a season.

Did you know? John Lackey is on a similar career path as Josh Beckett (102-71, 3.81 ERA in 233 starts vs. Beckett’s 106-68, 3.79 ERA in 235).

Did you know? John Lackey is one of six pitchers to win 11 or more games every year since ‘04.

Did you know? John Lackey has a smokeshow wife.

Now get ready for the Curb Your Enthusiasm cop out…

WITH THAT BEING SAID, I mostly disapprove of our offseason. While there is good news, there is also lots of baggage with these new acquisitions. Let’s start on the Mike Cameron, two years and 15 million dollar front. Cameron is an adequate player who is injury prone. He’s 36, hasn’t batted over .250 in three years, and has greatly diminishing speed. If he’s our Jason Bay replacement, we need to understand he will have less homeruns, RBIs, stolen bases, and bat for a lower average than Bay.

Still here? Good, let’s go big then. Cameron was suspended 25 games in 2008 for a banned substance; it was his second positive test. While I don’t think this warrants blackballing him from the game, there’s a reason I’ve made this offense its own paragraph. Call me crazy but I think seven million plus should go farther; aren’t we in a recession?

Vomit yet? No? Ok, John Lackey time.

Lackey will be making more money next year than any pitcher besides CC Sabathia. While dependable and playoff-tested, Lackey’s temperament on the mound is unpredictable. Lackey has always had problems in Fenway and with the Red Sox, offering anti-Sox sentiment over the last few years of our East Coast-West Coast feud. Lackey’s win totals have gone down while his ERA has conversely gone up over the last three years, which coincide with him turning 30.

If you saw Cameron’s introduction, you undoubtedly noticed his shining smile, a trait coaches praise him for maintaining through thick and thin. However Cameron hasn’t played in a city that cares about baseball since being with the Mets in 2005, and I’m not sure that his smile will withstand the scrutiny of Shaughnessy, Maz, the Pink Hatters, and the drunk, angry Sox fans who are never satisfied. I hope he can recreate some of his mid-2000’s years, but I think that might be a pipe dream. Our defense (with our pitching) may be bolstered, but we didn’t lose in 09 because Torii Hunter and Mark Teixeira were hitting balls that we dropped; they were drilling the gaps and the walls, so unless Scutaro and Cameron can leap green monsters in a single bound, I’m not drinking the Sox Kool-Aid.

I feel much stronger on the Lackey front. Tito can now throw out Lester, Beckett, Lackey, Clay all year with a mix of Dice-K and Wakefield on the side. Lackey bridges the gap we’ve had in our rotation, in trying to get from our aces, to our less dependable arms. And if that’s not enough, we also picked up a guy named Boof, which could pay comedic dividends if all goes well.

Calling the 2009 baseball season disappointing would be like calling Tiger Woods’ Thanksgiving weekend tumultuous. While I’m sure Theo is working much harder to repair our image than Tiger’s people are working to repair his, so far I don’t see much improvement.