The following excerpts are pieces of emails between Dave Fialkov and Mike Stiriti, while the two Godfather aficionados were discussing how Boston sports compares with the Corleone family.

I have started to think of Terry Francona as the Godfather, and it makes everything he does hilarious. Can you just picture this scene in his office?

Francona: “When we make the move out west I want Lester to be my left hand man.”

Wakefield: “But Terry…”

Francona: “You’re out, Tim.”

Or that scene in Part 2 where they talk about killing Hyman Roth…

Francona: Tim, I need to know that you support me. If not, you can take your wife, and Doug Mirabelli, and go down to Vegas.

Wake: Why do you treat me like this Terry, I’ve always been loyal to you.

Francona (in Italian): So, you’re staying?

Wake: Si, estayo.

George Steinbrenner talking about Dice-K…

“Dice-K Matsuzaka never gets that win. That game is perfect for him, it’ll make him a big STAR, and I’m gonna run him out of the league - and let me tell you why: Larry Lucchino ruined one of the Yankee’s most valuable prospects. For five years we had him under training - pitching lessons, fielding lessons, English lessons. I spent 40 million dollars on him, I was gonna make him a big STAR. And let me be even more frank, just to show you that I’m not a hard-hearted man, and that it’s not all dollars and cents: His gyroball was beautiful; he was young; his fastball had movement. He had the greatest piece of arm I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen ‘em all over the world! And then Larry Lucchino comes along with his 51 million and guinea charm, and he runs off. He threw the pinstripes away just to make me look ridiculous! And a man in my position can’t afford to be made to look RIDICULOUS!!!”

Larry “Lucky” Lucchino to Don John Henry…

“I believe in Red Sox Nation. Red Sox Nation has made my fortune. And I raised Theo Epstein in the Red Sox fashion. I gave him freedom, but I taught him never to dishonor his team. He found a rightfielder; not a 5th-hitter. He went to the bank with him; he gave him money. I didn’t protest. Two months ago, J.D. Drew came up to the plate, with the bases loaded. They cheered for him to get a hit. They wanted him to take advantage of his talent. He resisted. He kept hitting into double plays. So they booed him, like smart fans. When I went to the locker room, his confidence was a’broken. His ego was a’shattered, held together by his 70 million reasons to live. He didn’t even weep because of the guaranteed money. But I wept. Why did I weep? He was the hope of my spring, beautiful swing. Now he will never be a .300 hitter again. I went to the manager, like a good CEO. Francona brought Drew into his office. The manager changed his place in the batting order - to leadoff. TO LEADOFF! He led off that very day! I stood in the locker room like a fool. And those two bastards, Theo and Drew, they smiled at me. Then I said to Jacoby Ellsbury, for justice, we must go to Don John Henry.”

Scene from a New York City Hotel Room, circa October 2007…

Mariano Rivera: Hey Boss. How do you feel?

Steinbrenner: I’d give 7.2 million just to be able to take a piss without it hurting.

Rivera: Who said that Joe Torre would be let go if we lost the Cleveland series?

Steinbrenner: Uh, Brian Cashman.

Rivera: I know, but who gave the go ahead? I don’t think I agree with that.

Steinbrenner: A few years ago, in 2004, I spent a lot of money on the Yankees to win a world series. I re-signed a lot of key people, brought in Gary Sheffield, Alex Rodriguez. And I had faith in Joe Torre. Things were good, we made the most of it. During the playoffs, we breezed through the first round, and faced the Red Sox in the playoffs. After we won the first three games, the prospect of getting back to a World Series excited me so much, that I took a vacation until the series began, just to prepare myself. Later on, I got a phone call from Mr. Cashman, telling me that there would be no Yankees in the World Series. Now, there isn’t even a banner, or a plaque, or a signpost, commemorating the 2004 Yankee season in this town! Someone blew a few saves, I don’t know who. When I heard it, I wasn’t angry. I knew Torre, I know how he manages a bullpen, making bizarre moves, doing stupid things. So when I heard we blew the series against the Red Sox…I let it go. And I said to myself, THIS IS THE BUSINESS WE’VE CHOSEN. I DIDN’T ASK WHO BLEW THE SAVES, BECAUSE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH BUSINESS. That 5 million — in a bag in your locker. I’m going to take a nap — when I wake, if the contract’s on my desk, I’ll know I have a closer. If it’s not, I’ll know I don’t.

Scene from Theo Epstein’s office on November 6th 2007…

Theo Epstein: Our friend and former relief pitcher Eric Gagne is in the news. The front office of the Yankees turned down his request to play there as a replacement to Rivera. He landed at La Guardia last night offering a “gift” of playing for only a million dollars if they’d let him stay. They said no. His changeup has been invalidated, except for his return trip to AAA.


Tom Werner: He’ll try Cleveland next.

Larry Luccino: Cleveland won’t take him. Not for a million, not for less then a million.

After the New England Patriots practice on Thursday, October 11th…

Gisele Bundchen: Tom, you never told me you knew Randy Moss!

Tom Brady: Oh sure, you want to meet him?

Gisele: Yeah!

Brady: You know, my coach helped Randy in his career.

Gisele: Really? How?

Brady: …Let’s watch him braid his cornrows

Gisele: [after watching Randy for a while] Please, Tom. Tell me.

Brady:…Well when Randy was in the 8th year of his career, he was signed to this contract with an asshole owner. And as his career got worse and worse he wanted to get out of it. Now, Randy is my coach’s favorite receiver. Belichick went to see the owner, with an offer of a 2nd round draft pick to let Randy go, but the owner said no. So the next day, Belichick went to see the owner again, only this time with Vince Wilfork. Within an hour, the owner signed the release, for just a 6th round pick.

Gisele: How did he do that?

Brady: Belichick made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

Gisele: What was it?

Brady: Vince Wilfork sat on his head, and my father assured the owner that either Randy Moss or the owner’s dead body would be leaving Oakland.

Gisele: …

Brady: …Thats a true story.

(cut to Moss trash talking about TO and the Cowboys)

Brady: That’s my team Gisele, its not me.

Scene from Don Francona’s office, 1:45 AM Sunday October 14th 2007

Don Francona: Gagne, you’re nothing to me now. You’re not a closer; you’re not a set-up man. I don’t want to know you or what you do when you’re not blowing playoff games. I don’t want to see you in the locker room, I don’t want you near my clubhouse. When you see our general manager, I want to know a day in advance, so I won’t be there. You understand?

About 13 years ago…………

(After a game in Texas, Rick Reilly is walking around the Ranger locker room and approaches the locker of Jose Canseco. Fearing being caught red-handed, Jose quickly throws a bag of performance-enhancing drugs to Rafael Palmiero, who–confused and calm–puts them in a bag in his locker….)

(2 days later, The following conversation takes place in Spanish….)

Jose Canseco: You still have my goods?

Rafael Palmiero: (nods)

Jose: Did you look inside?

Rafael: I’m not interested in things that don’t concern me.

Jose: A friend of mine in the Bay Area has some good andro…Maybe your wife would like it if you hit more home runs.

Rafael: Sure, she would. But who wants to buy Andro.

Jose: It would be a present. I know how to return a favor.

Rafael: Yea sure — my wife would like more home runs.


Eric Mangini talking to assistant coach Bryan Cox and GM Mike Tannenbaum the night before the Week 1 contest against the Patriots…

Mike Tannenbaum: Lets talk about this game tomorrow and get a strategy to counter the Patriots’ camera tricks.

Bryan Cox: No! No more strategy sessions…You want to counter their camera tricks? Say STOP VIDEOTAPING GAMES FROM THE SIDELINE, if not, I go to the League with it.

Tannenbaum: No, coach, the other teams won’t stand for that!

Cox: Well than the other teams and the reputation fo the league are going to have to suffer.

Tannenbaum: You’re taking this too personally Bryan!

Cox: You call cheating against our team not personal?

Tannenbaum: Even cheating against us was business. Now, I just checked, and the guy who is videotaping our game tomorrow is definetly on Bellichick’s payroll and for big money. What you have to understand coach, is that no team has ever ratted out another team for this kind of thing before, never. You remember Green Bay last year. It would be catastrophic, all the teams would come after us, the Jets would be outcast!

Cox: All right, we wait.

Mangini (at his desk): It can’t wait.

Cox: What?

Mangini: It can’t wait. No matter what Belichick says, he’s gonna cheat tomorrow. That’s the key for him. Gotta get Belichick. There’s gonna be a game tomorrow, right? It will be us and the Patriots. We checked the schedule and find out where it’s gonna be held. Now we insist that a member of the Commissioner’s office knows what we’re up to, so I feel safe. Now, Belichick will talk to people before the game, so he can’t know what we’re up to then. But if one of you can find a way to have someone point out to a league official what their camera guy on the sideline is up to, I’ll rat out Belichick then.

Bryan Cox: What are you doing? Nice young coach. You think this is the game film, where you do this from a booth? No, you rat him out and then BADDA BING, GO SHAKE HIS HAND AT MIDFIELD AFTER THE GAME. You’re taking this awfully personal. Hey Mike, this is football and Mangini is taking this very personal.

Mangini: Where does it say you can’t rat out a coach?

Tannenbaum: Eric, come on.

Mangini: Now, wait a minute, we’re talking about a crooked coach, a dishonest coach who got caught up in cheating and got what was coming to him. That’s a terrific story. Now, we got Jets fans working for ESPN, don’t we coach?

Tannenbaum: Yes.

Mangini: Well, they might like a story like that.

Tannenbaum: They might….they just might

Mangini: It’s not personal fellas. It’s strictly football.

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